I know I’ve been out of touch for a while and some of you are noticing. I know this because you’ve told me. So I’m going to get back to business and share with you what is new with me.
In late May I had a pretty exciting experience. My mentor, David Jones, was in Minneapolis for a Voice Teacher Seminar and I was able to see him for a couple lessons. This was great because I haven’t seen him or had a lesson in seven years since I moved from New York.
Now, I don’t know if I should admit this since I’m supposed to know my stuff about the voice. But I have always had trouble singing tenor repertoire in performance. Over the years my understanding and exercising have improved my vocal coordination a huge amount. But I continued to have difficulty actually singing repertoire I thought I was supposed to sing.
It has been this way all through my degree programs and for the 14 years since my Master’s degree. I originally assumed it was a deficiency in my technique. I always felt “if I can just figure such-and-such out I’ll be able to do it”. But as the years went by I did figure such-and-such out, and I still had difficulty. Which was frustrating because I knew what to do to make the voice work. I proved that everyday with the people I worked with. Plus, I experienced it in my vocalizing.
But when I would move from vocalizing to actual music I wasn’t comfortable and I found it difficult. Because of this I pretty much stopped trying to sing operatic repertoire and stuck to songs, where I could choose a key that felt more comfortable. I always felt like my voice was just centered a whole-step lower than the tenor repertoire I was trying to sing.
Over the past few years I have been gradually coming to the suspicion that I am not really a true tenor of the lyric or lyric-spinto type. I even experimented with some baritone arias from Verdi operas. They felt pretty easy and I could sing with my whole voice without holding back. But I also felt like I wasn’t truly a baritone, either. I had the range to sing higher baritone rep. But the character of the voice still didn’t seem like a baritone.
So that led me to think I must be some kind of lower tenor. I knew that when I tried to sing lyric tenor my throat would close and I just could’t sustain the tessitura. If I could transpose it down a step I had no problem. But that isn’t possible in the professional arena. At least if you aren’t already Placido Domingo.
Another thing I noticed when I would sing lyric tenor was as the melody ascended the scale, if I kept a comfortable connection and completeness to the voice, it would take on an intensity that felt inappropriate to the music. For the majority of my vocal life this caused me to back off or hold back as I sang higher. Especially in choral settings.
This would always cause me to disconnect from my voice. When we do that everything is lost, because when we disconnect all of the muscular coordination that controls pitch and registers doesn’t work. Plus, the throat usually closes as well.
The result of this disconnection was that my voice sounded thinner and constricted. And cut off from any high range. So the major problem was because of the thinner tone I sounded like a tenor but I didn’t have the range needed by a tenor. So I was stuck. For years.
The only positive of this eternal frustration was it forced me to try and figure out every single aspect of the voice and its behavior. This has resulted in my ability to assess and diagnose just about any case of malfunction in other singers. Plus, in my practice I was still learning to coordinate correctly. So eventually that has paid off.
I guess I just gave away the point of this post. As I mentioned I had been suspicious of the true nature of my instrument, even though I never really had presented it in performance. When I had heard from David that he was coming to town and I could have a lesson, the only question I had for him that I wanted to know was, “What is my fach and the appropriate repertoire I should be singing?”
That is the only thing I hadn’t figured out for myself in the whole realm of vocal questions. And actually, I could assess this in others. But, although I had suspicions and felt it, I couldn’t definitely declare it myself. Plus, it is an elusive thing with voices that aren’t obviously a certain type. It requires experience with a wide range of voices to be able to assess the true fach of a voice.
David admitted that he has gained a great deal of experience over the last seven years working with voices that don’t clearly fit into the classification system. And it’s lucky for me that he has because within a couple scales of our first lesson he told me that my voice is actually a Heldentenor.
He explained that in a lot of ways it behaves much like a Zwischenfach voice. Which means it is between voice types. That term is generally only used to describe female voices that can sing dramatic soprano or mezzo, and sometimes with dramatic mezzo or alto.
But in the case of the Heldentenor he explained that it is the one voice that is legitimately a “between” voice in the male category. I always think of these types of voices as being a combination of qualities from each. But I have noticed as I have been researching deeper into it that there is some variation in how different people define these characteristics.
As I said, I had been suspicious of this myself because it was the only explanation that really made sense with my experiences. And as soon as he said that to me I felt a liberation from all of the years of feeling inadequate. He gave me a reminder to keep my throat stretched and from then on the voice just sang like a horse running free in the field.
We tried the Wintersturme aria from Wagner’s Die Walkure and it was the first time I’ve ever sung an aria with absolutely no problems, not even the slightest discomfort. The voice just felt like it finally found where it wanted to be all along. It was absolutely easy.
And the feedback I was getting from David, and especially the observers who didn’t know me, was unlike any I had received before. I’ve been told I have a nice voice before, but I’ve never had anyone gush about it. David had me vocalize for the seminar of approximately 80 voice teachers as well, and I got the same response. But even more important than that is I felt right for the first time.
And the real lesson I want to emphasize is it felt easy because it was in the right “zone”. Not because I was trying to sing easy or I had done anything significantly different. In fact it is the opposite. I was singing more completely and more hooked up. More connected. It was literally within a couple minutes of starting the lesson that my voice showed itself. So it wasn’t really anything David “taught” me.
What he did do, though, was give me permission to be the voice I truly am. For better or worse that is all any of us can be. But it is the only way we will be able to survive. I think in the back of my mind I had a hang-up about allowing myself to be a Heldentenor. In some way I think I might have felt it pretentious because of the rarity of the voice type. Like I was saying “I’m more special”.
I actually still feel a little awkward talking about it because of that feeling. And I think that is why I needed someone else to declare that for me. I don’t know if that is a common feeling or if it is just a part of my personality. But once he said that definitely I felt like I was suddenly a viable performer. No more developing, no more figuring it out, no more getting ready.
And luckily for me this voice type is one of the few that can make their debut at a later age. It is generally understood that these types of voices don’t mature until the late 30s. That might be part of the reason for their rarity. How many singers stick it out until they are 38 or 40 without much success until the voice matures to reveal its true nature?
So what does this mean for me now? Who knows. I had kind of given up serious performing and planned on just doing small local things. But now the possibility is there for me to make a run at a real career. I had a number of knowledgeable people telling me the quality of my instrument is up to the level needed. So that is what I’ve been working on for the past month.
I’m not used to talking directly about myself so much here on my blog. But I’m hoping my story can help others trying to figure out their voice and realize that it might be an issue of finding the correct fach.
Related articles
- Q&A – Losing My Voice (vocalwisdom.com)
- Q&A – Freely Accessing Upper Register (vocalwisdom.com)
- Q&A – Vocal Abuse in Modern Society (vocalwisdom.com)
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Hi Michael, thanks so much for sharing this. I was sitting with my partner reading this, and we talked about how so many of the things you mentioned in this were word for word my experience, especially in the last two years. It was like I needed someone serious outside of myself to affirm that my curiosities about my voice were correct. Even the Winterstürme aria, I did the same and it felt incredible to sing, like I had found something that had actually fit me. Though, I have also been in the same boat of “so what now?” But I have found a lot of joy in teaching and studying the repertoire for myself, continuing lessons and just letting my voice mature and settle. Thank you again for posting this.
Thanks for your comment, Ian. I actually had a client that had a similar experience as you. He always thought he was a baritone because that was what he was told. He has a nice voice, but it tends to be a little too gentle.
Because of this “gentleness” he would get disconnected singing up the range. This automatically will allow the larynx to rise. Then we sound thinner and it reinforces the higher voice categorization.
But when he learned to vocalize with a true vibration (not a holding of any kind, though) the larynx stayed stable while ascending. The stability also revealed more of the complete color of the voice. And that made me start to suspect he was a bass-baritone.
See, color is a big part of identifying voice category. If we aren’t totally coordinated and stable so we realize the full nature of the voice we won’t have an accurate representation of the instrument. And that is when we misidentify it.
Thanks again for sharing your experience.
Interesting article on fach. I always knew that I was a baritone, from the range that my voice felt the most comfortable in. However, I never had “that” sound: I had the “boy choir” sound, which I later learned was the result of a high larynx position. When I was finally able to get the larynx down without depressing it with the tongue, my tone changed dramatically. I also felt most comfortable in my low and middle ranges. I tried singing lyric baritone rep such as Papageno and Belcore but they just felt high and I could not sustain the timbre and tessitura at the same time: like you, if the arias were transposed M2 down, they could have worked, but I know that’s not a viable solution. So I did something dramatic the other day: I tried Bartolo from the Barber of Seville. The recitative felt great, and the ranges in that part are quite comfortable to me. I too resisted labeling myself as bass-baritone, because of the will to be unique in some way and that I never regarded my timbre as having the necessary darkness and weight to identify with the fach, possibly due to the fact that I am used to the high larynx sound. I have to say though that I am likely bass-baritone, as the lower roles felt good to me, but I don’t have the lower range of a true bass, but I’ve got an F2 that isn’t quite usable yet, but it’s there.
Sorry, I didn’t see all the comments! Please delete previous, I can’t seem to do it myself! Thanks for your reply, my teacher is of the same opinion (thank God). She just wants to eventually get to my true voice by ensuring I’m doing everything right technically. I’m in the UK but can send you a recording when I feel like I’m closer to that true voice – I still have technical issues ATM! Right now, I’m doing Lieder which I think is very helpful as they aren’t tied to any particular Fach, there are no expectations of what vocal quality is appropriate, so one is less likely to do something incorrect in order to try to sound a certain way.
Thanks for your comment, Anna. Interesting situation. I would love to hear you for my ongoing research to observe what you describe. But I have seen other examples of voices that sound like sopranos but just don’t feel comfortable in that tessitura. Lighter more lyric mezzos can be deceiving and take some experimenting to figure out. It does take some experience as well to guide the process. The big thing that can help us get through the fog is sticking to good, solid function. Then our true voice will be revealed. If we change the function we will sound like something other than what we are. And then we will never hear the truth. Good luck with your continued progress.
Great post – everything you said actually sounds like me for the past 4 years, except I’m not a Heldentenor. My voice however also sits very low, but is also apparently soprano and deceptively light and flexible. Just not high – I also thought if I can just figure out such and such, I’ll have all those high notes, but nothing worked, and I have ended up with real issues with forcing in an attempt to just try that bit harder, as I was sure that would work. I also had/have the disconnection issue too, and the problem with singing soprano in choir. I think the truth (and one that I have always known in a way) is that I am a very very light coloratura soubrette/mezzo – not a Fach!, at least not one people immediately recognise. People are always telling me I should sing the Queen of the Night (when actually my voice is completely and utterly disconnected/falsetto from about high C), so I can fake it but with bucketloads of tension. In truth, there must be so many voices that just don’t fit into a neat little box but people spend years ruining their voices just trying to do that, which is a shame! Fortunately there are expert teachers around who respect individual voices and who can detect stuff that most teachers can’t.
Hello Jeannie. Thanks for your support. I’m glad you found the blog and are enjoying it. I totally agree that my situation was mainly psychological. Maybe ten years before there was also and physical/coordination issue as well. That is what makes the voice such an interesting thing to explore. There are many aspects to figure out that have a significant influence.
As for your throat singing, I always try to remember that the body makes reactions to our intentions. So as a singer our intention is to vocalize an expression. The natural way for the body to fulfill that is to stimulate the respiratory system to create air pressure and the larynx to adjust in a way that resists that air pressure while at the same time creating the proper tension of the vocal folds for a particular pitch.
If the larynx is not properly stimulated because of uncoordinated breathing opening the glottis or a lack of development then these fundamental conditions won’t exist. If they are lacking the body will do what it is second bast at – compensating.
Throaty singing is simply the body compensating for a lack of stimulation of the larynx to properly adjust as needed. If you get that response the throatiness will not be needed and will disappear.
Hope that helps.
Michael,
I am not anyone that you know but I do take voice from an Italian Method instructor. I just found this blog today and am enjoying it immensely.
I have to congratulate you on finding out who you are or should I say who/what your voice really is.
I also study the laws of vibrational resonance as relates to the law of attraction and find that what you describe here is really more psychological than physiological/instrument related. You had the voice all along and needed an acceptable “label” for it in order to FEEL adequate and set it free.
The mind is a funny thing. Carry on and be sure let us know where we can find you and listen to you when you are a famous Heldentenor!
J
btw: my instructor is trying to help me rid myself of awful throat singing. Can you comment and make suggestions for this problem?
thanks.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your response.
I am sorry to hear this, but it is definitely part of the singers world. It can be discouraging, but you shouldn’t feel like that. There is a saying “Everyone is a critic.” But I usually notice that “Everyone is an expert.” This is true of voice teachers and especially singers. At whatever level many singers think they are experts and know better than everyone else.
It is this attitude that you are feeling. It exists because of many reasons, and it is unrealistic to expect it to be any different. But the opinions of others really should be kept to themselves. It is inappropriate and unprofessional to make those kinds of comments to other singers.
The only times it is OK to talk about another singer is 1) when they ask for your opinion and 2) when they present themselves publicly and you are giving a public critique.
Professional singers generally learn how to deal with critics by either ignoring them or listening and filtering it through their own understanding of their situation. It is something I like to call “knowing better”.
You have to know yourself and your voice better than anyone else, including your teacher, so you can make use of the things people are telling you. We interpret what we are told, but if you don’t know yourself and your voice you will be at the mercy of every statement that comes floating by.
Obviously when you are still young or developing this is hard to do. But knowing that you are still developing and “becoming” whatever you may eventually become is a form of knowing yourself. So let them have their opinions, you work on knowing that you are still becoming whatever you may become. And that is how it should be.
If they are so opinionated as to make you feel stupid for not being “complete” like they are then they are going to have a limited life span in this business. You have to be flexible and open to whatever may happen. Things are not set in stone and they don’t progress according to a planned checklist.
And, to top it off. Generally the voices that are ready that young so they know their fach are not usually the most important voices. It takes time for the best voices to come to fruition. So stick with it.
Thank you for your advice.
I have one more question: I am still fairly young and want my voice to develop into whatever it will develop into, but everyone around me (with exception to my teacher) has a very outspoken opinion on my “fach”. Some of them even treat me like an idiot because I didn’t know I was whatever they thought I was.
I don’t really know how to deal with this behavior. Maybe it isn’t worth paying attention to, but it is very discouraging and depressing.
Is this something I have to get used to?